Wintering with Purpose: Embracing Joy and Letting Go of Control
The Winter Solstice marks the longest night of the year—a sacred pause before the light begins its slow return. It’s a time to reflect, rest, and ask yourself some big questions, like: “What am I still trying to control that needs to go?”
This season invites us into what I like to call a “wintering” period—a time to embrace stillness, let go of what no longer serves, and rediscover the beauty in simply being.
Wintering: Slowing Down to Lighten Up
Wintering reminds us that life isn’t a to-do list. It’s not about ticking boxes, achieving goals, or always being in forward motion. It’s about making space for rest, reflection, and renewal. It’s a time to slow down, savor the moment, and trust that growth happens even in the stillness.
Wintering is also a time to ask: Am I dimming my own light? Sometimes, in our efforts to maintain peace or fit in, we hide the very parts of ourselves that make us shine. Whether it’s through people-pleasing, over-correcting, or avoiding vulnerability, dimming our light is another way control sneaks in.
Take a moment to reflect:
Where have you been holding back or dimming your light?
Who are you sharing this healing journey with, and are they encouraging your light to shine?
What would it feel like to show up fully as yourself?
Because here’s the truth: your light isn’t just for you—it’s for the people who need to see it, who are inspired by it, and who are walking their own journeys alongside you.
The Sneaky Ways Control Blocks Joy
Control is a sneaky bugger. It disguises itself as safety or certainty, but in reality, it’s often the very thing keeping us from the joy we crave. If you’re anything like me, you might not even realize how control has been running the show.
Here are 5 ways control sneaks into our lives—and blocks joy:
Perfectionism:
That voice saying, “If I just try harder, it will all come together.” For me, perfectionism wasn’t just about appearing to have it all together—it was the belief that if I could just control every outcome, I’d finally feel enough. This mindset almost broke me.As Brene Brown shares in The Gifts of Imperfection, perfectionism isn’t about striving for excellence—it’s a defense mechanism to avoid failure, judgment, or shame. The truth I’ve learned? Nothing will ever be perfectly controlled, and trying harder doesn’t guarantee happiness. What does? Learning to let go and trust the flow.
Dimming Your Light:
This one is sneaky because it can feel like humility, but it’s really about control. For me, it showed up as holding back parts of myself to avoid making others uncomfortable or to “keep the peace.” I thought dimming my light would make me more likable or keep relationships intact, but all it did was leave me disconnected from my true self.People-Pleasing:
This one is sneaky because it feels like kindness, but it’s really about controlling how others perceive you. For me, it showed up in bending over backward to avoid conflict or being overly agreeable to keep the peace. But here’s the truth: trying to control what people think of you only leaves you exhausted and disconnected from your true self.Fixing Others:
I’ve been the person who thought I could fix everyone’s problems, thinking their happiness was my responsibility. But carrying someone else’s emotional baggage only drains you—and robs them of their chance to grow.Tearing Down Walls (Hyper-Independence):
“I don’t need anyone!” Yep, I’ve said it—and believed it. But the walls I built to protect myself from getting hurt also kept me stuck in survival mode. Thriving only happens when you let those walls come down and let people in.
Surrendering Control to Make Space for Joy
Here’s the thing: control promises certainty, but it rarely delivers joy. True joy doesn’t come from perfect outcomes or keeping everything together. It’s found in the moments when we surrender—when we trust that we don’t have to fix, plan, or carry it all.
The Winter Solstice is your reminder that surrender isn’t failure—it’s freedom. By letting go of the need to control, you create space for connection, spontaneity, and the kind of joy that surprises you in the most unexpected ways.
Surrender also invites us to embrace interdependence—a balance between individuality and connection. It’s about letting others in without losing ourselves, allowing our light to shine brighter through shared growth.
As you reflect on your journey, ask yourself: Who am I walking this path with, and are we lifting each other toward greater joy?
The Joy Is in the Journey
The most profound truth I’ve learned this season? The joy is in the journey. There is no final destination where everything magically falls into place. Instead, joy shows up in the beautiful, fleeting aha moments that fill your heart with light and clarity.
Joy isn’t something you obtain or achieve. It’s not waiting for you at the end of a to-do list. It’s here and now: in the messy, imperfect process of becoming, in the connections we nurture, and in the stillness where we simply are.
When we let go of control, that’s when joy quietly steps in.
Life DNA: Yes, I Made It Up, and Yes, It’s Magic
Let me introduce you to Life DNA—the term I made up to describe the fated blueprint of your soul’s journey. Think of it like this:
Astrology is the map that shows the big picture—your purpose, patterns, and lessons.
Tarot is the compass that helps you navigate the twists, turns, and unexpected detours.
Together, they’re your ultimate guide to living with purpose, clarity, and (yes!) joy. Life isn’t about rigid control or checking every box; it’s about learning to trust your unique blueprint and embracing the journey.
So this Winter Solstice, let’s use your Life DNA to light the way as you surrender, shine, and step into the magic waiting for you.
Reflection Worksheet: Finding Joy in Surrender
Because I know how transformative surrender can be, I’ve created a free Winter Solstice Reflection + Intention Worksheet to guide you through:
Recognizing sneaky control patterns that block your joy.
Letting go of what no longer serves.
Discovering how surrender creates space for joy, clarity, and connection.
Ready to begin?
Download your free Winter Solstice Reflection + Intention Worksheet here and take the first step toward finding joy in surrender. Please share in the comments anything that comes up for you.
Letting the Light Return
The Winter Solstice isn’t just about the return of the sun—it’s about the return of your joy, your light, and your connection to what truly matters.
As you surrender control and begin to uncover joy in the present moment, consider this:
Where have you dimmed your light, and what would it feel like to let it shine fully?
Who are you walking this journey with, and how can you strengthen those connections in ways that lift you both?
Stay tuned for the next post, where we’ll explore how interdependence and connection help us reclaim the light that was never truly lost.
Wishing you peace, light, and a whole lot of Sol Joy this Winter! 💛
Take the Next Step on Your Journey
Ready to go deeper? Working with me is all about uncovering your unique Life DNA, healing old patterns, and stepping into your light with clarity and confidence. Whether you’re ready to dive into astrology as your map, tarot as your compass, or a mix of both, we’ll create a transformative path tailored just for you.
✨ Let’s uncover the lessons, growth, and joy waiting for you.
👉 Click here to explore how we can work together HERE
