Who Would You Be Without “Fixing”others? A Journey of Boundaries, Freedom & Self-Discovery

Who Would I Be If I Weren’t Fixing?

How One Question Changed Everything

Have you ever been asked a question so powerful it STOPS YOU IN YOUR TRACKS?
For me, that question came during a conversation with my soul:

“Who would you be if you weren’t fixing?”

Boom. It hit me hard.

I had no idea how much weight that question carried—literally and metaphorically. I’d been living in the endless summer of over-giving, over-doing, over-fixing, thinking I had to bloom all the time. But then winter came for me—slowly at first, then all at once.

And in the deep freeze, I saw the truth I had been running from:

Fixing wasn’t freedom.
Fixing wasn’t safety.
Fixing wasn’t even my responsibility.

Being a fixer kept me safe from vulnerability.
It was my shield. My armor.

"Here, let me fix you, so I don’t have to look at my own stuff."

But that armor wasn’t saving me. It was suffocating me.

Winter stripped away the noise, the exhaustion, the endless need to fix everyone else’s lives. It left me with one thing: me.
Just me and the parts of my life I had ignored for far too long.

The Brokenhearted Fixer

Fixing wasn’t just something I did. It had become who I was.

Fixing made me feel needed, and being needed made me feel safe. It gave me a sense of control when life felt uncertain or chaotic—an uncomfortable resemblance to my childhood, where chaos often felt like the default setting.

As a child, being helpful meant being worthy. Fixing became my way of navigating unpredictable situations. I clung to that sense of control like a lifeline. If I could just fix everything and everyone around me, I’d finally feel safe.

But here’s the truth my soul revealed:

Fixing didn’t protect me. It confined me.
It trapped me in patterns of over-giving, exhaustion, and self-sacrifice.

Anger and frustration began to rise—anger at myself for not being able to fix everything and frustration that no matter how hard I worked, it was NEVER enough.

If only I could fix this marriage, this friendship, this empty cup I kept pouring from—maybe then it would be okay again.
But it wasn’t.
And it never would be.

I was exhausted. My soul finally said, “Enough.”

And guess what? It didn’t break me. It broke me OPEN.

It cracked me wide enough to see, feel, and trust my own path. Every heartbreak was a lesson. Every loss a guidepost. Each one led me back home to myself.

Life DNA: The Map and Compass to Freedom

What made this transformation possible wasn’t just the question—it was discovering my Life DNA—the unique blueprint that had been guiding me all along.

Life DNA is a map and a compass.
It’s your soul’s GPS, recalculating every time you drift off course—until you finally learn the lesson.

When I saw my Life DNA clearly, it all clicked:
Fixing wasn’t my purpose—it was my protection.
I was fixing because I didn’t know how to trust myself, my boundaries, or my path.

But the minute I understood that? Everything shifted.

The Physical Shift

Healing changes EVERYTHING—mind, body, and soul.

The weight I had been carrying wasn’t just emotional; it pressed on my body in ways I hadn’t even noticed.
Letting go felt like taking my first real breath in years.

Literal weight—65 pounds overall, 20 of those since August—fell away.

I’ve been told over and over that it’s "impossible" to lose weight post-menopause. Here’s the truth:
Letting go of what wasn’t mine to carry changed everything.

My body responded with more energy, deeper rest, and a freedom I hadn’t known before.

This wasn’t just about feeling lighter emotionally. My body reflected every ounce of the release. My shoulders relaxed. My sleep improved. Even my posture shifted.

Soul-Led Boundaries: Breaking the Pattern

When I realized how deeply this pattern was rooted, everything changed.

Boundaries became my new superpower.
Not just to protect my energy, but to rewrite the story I’d carried since childhood.

For years, I built walls—not boundaries. I thought walls would keep me safe. But they didn’t. They kept me small and disconnected from the love, joy, and freedom I craved.

Boundaries are different. They aren’t about shutting people out. They’re about honoring yourself—what you allow in and what you don’t.

When my boundaries were tested or disrespected?
That was my soul’s way of saying: “It’s time to go.”
The relationship, the mindset, the boundary-less way of living—it was no longer for me.

Aligned and Overflowing

These days, I choose ME.
I’ve learned to set boundaries and not back down.

What lights me up?
Walking. Creating art. Reading. Tarot reflection. Journaling. Sitting on the beach. Hanging out by myself. These are my sacred spaces.

I make sure my cup is full—overflowing—before I pour out to anyone else.

This is the life I was always meant to live—lighter, freer, and truer than I ever imagined.

If You’ve Been the Fixer, I See You

I know how heavy it feels.
I know how much you’ve carried.

But you don’t have to carry it anymore.
There’s a way through. One that leads to freedom, clarity, and joy.

For so long, I was the seeker—always searching for answers, for healing, for the next step that would finally make me feel whole.

But at some point, my soul whispered: “You’ve already found it.”

I became the finder. The one who realized that every answer, every truth, every bit of guidance was already within me—waiting for me to trust it.

Your soul already knows the way.
And if you’re ready to take that step... I know the way, too. Let’s walk it together.

Ready For More?

Are you ready to explore your own Life DNA and uncover the truth that’s been waiting within you? What would it feel like to align with your purpose and create a life of freedom and joy?

I’d love to hear your insights in the comments, or feel free to reach out—I’m here to connect and support your journey. Remember, the thaw always comes, and with it, the bloom. 🌟