The Deeper the Love, the Stronger the Grief—And the Greater the Gifts!
Recently, I saw the movie *My Old Ass*, and one question lingered with me long after the lights came up: *"If you knew you were going to love and experience joy but then also experience a deep grieving period, would you not fall in love in the first place?"*
It’s a profound thought about love, loss, and the emotional journey that comes with them. Love brings immense joy—immeasurable, soul-lifting joy—but it also brings grief when it's time to say goodbye. The deeper the love, the deeper the grief.
But here’s the thing: grief isn't just about physical loss or death. I've experienced both, and they are equally painful.
One of the darkest heartbreaks I endured was the “breakup” with a soulmate and best friend. It felt like I would never rise again. Yet, through the pain, I began to see the gifts. She brought my spirit to a place that was more elevated than my previous way of viewing the world—self-care, travel, and loving life. But there came a point where there was no more room for us to grow together, and our souls needed to separate. It took me a VERY long time to understand the gifts from this friendship, but I will forever be grateful for her.
The lotus flower's journey from the mud to full bloom…
symbolizes rising above adversity and becoming the best version of ourselves. Like the lotus, we can overcome life's challenges, choosing light over darkness, a spiritual path over materialism, and joy over resentment. No matter how deep our struggles, we have the power to rise, grow, and blossom into our true selves
a drop to my knees, life altering event, delivering the greatest gifts
More recently, my first granddaughter, Amara, was stillborn at 33 weeks. The pain I felt for my daughter, going through this immeasurable loss, was beyond comprehension. I had no idea what to do or say to ease her discomfort… until I held Amara in my arms. In that moment, I felt an unexplainable peace—peace like I had never known before. It was as if she was still with us, not in physical form, but in the spiritual realm, guiding and supporting our journey. Amara’s gifts to me are rooted in healing, balance, and clarity. Her presence helps me reflect on the importance of aligning my actions with my true purpose—healing through love, patience, and acceptance.
Through this journey, my tarot readings became a profound source of comfort and clarity. Pulling cards in moments of grief gave me a way to connect to deeper truths. The messages reminded me that grief and love are intertwined, and through the immense sorrow, I could see the blessings. Grief could be alchemized into joy. The sorrow I felt slowly transformed into a deep appreciation for the love we shared and the spiritual guidance Amara continues to offer.
Grief is not something to fear; it’s a testament to the love we were so fortunate to experience.
As I’ve reflected, I’ve realized that life’s lessons—about love, grief, and joy—are part of our Life DNA. Each of us carries a unique map, a blueprint of experiences meant to guide us toward growth and purpose. The lessons Amara has taught me remind me that we’re not here to avoid pain but to harness it. To let it teach us, shape us, and show us what matters most. Learning from these moments is how we align with our soul’s purpose and find beauty in the midst of challenge.
Perhaps Amara’s gift is also the clarity to find peace in moments of uncertainty. Through her presence, I’ve learned that not all answers come immediately, and that’s okay. The real gift lies in trusting myself and the process, knowing that clarity will come in its own time. Sometimes, the peace we seek isn’t in the answers, but in trusting that we are exactly where we need to be.
I KNOW she is with my daughter and our family every day. She is a powerful angel, too pure to be on earth in physical form. Feeling her presence has profoundly changed me. This experience may be hard for some to understand, but here’s the truth: we don’t need anyone to understand. It’s not their lesson to receive. It was such a tragic miracle—the only way I can describe it. I will forever have a grand angel with a light that shines bright AF.
Grief is a reminder to love deeply. It’s a gentle nudge to cherish the blessings of connection, even when it feels impossible to say goodbye. Can we allow grief to honor the love we were so fortunate to experience? Can we embrace the gifts that come with both love and loss? I think we can. And in every tear, there’s a quiet celebration of what once was—and that is a beautiful thing.
What came up for you?
How has love and loss shaped your understanding of grief? I'd love to hear your reflections in the comments below.
Whether you're navigating a fresh loss or reflecting on a past experience, remember this: grief and love are intertwined. Allow both to be gifts.
More Ways to Work With Me:
If you feel called to explore your own healing journey on a deeper level, I invite you to work with me. Together, we can navigate the complexities of grief, love, finding the gifts and transformation—whether it’s through a customized tarot reading, journaling guidance, or personalized soul care practices. Let’s discover the gifts within your experiences and help you align with your true purpose and joy. Learn more at www.soljoyco.com
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Resources:
The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief" by Francis Weller
A deeply moving book exploring how grief is woven into our emotional and spiritual life, offering ways to navigate loss through rituals and connection.
Purchase on Amazon
"It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand" by Megan Devine
A compassionate guide to processing grief on your own terms while navigating a world that often rushes healing.
Purchase on Amazon
"Grieving Mindfully: A Compassionate and Spiritual Guide to Coping with Loss" by Sameet M. Kumar, PhD
A blend of mindfulness practices and spiritual insight to help find peace after loss.
Purchase on Amazon
Journals
"Healing After Loss: Daily Meditations for Working Through Grief" by Martha Whitmore Hickman
A daily meditation journal offering comfort and clarity for navigating grief.
Purchase on Amazon
"Good Grief Journal" by Ink & Willow
A guided journal with prompts and exercises to help you process grief and find healing.
Purchase on Amazon
Card Decks
"Whispers of Healing Oracle" by Angela Hartfield and Josephine Wall
A deck designed for emotional healing and support during times of grief and transition.
Purchase on Amazon